It’s okay to be afraid sometimes. It’s okay to be scared that things won’t work out exactly as you planned. They probably won’t, but if you develop the ability to roll with punches. If you can get hit and get back up you’ll become resilient. When you are resilient. Well, nothing can stop you.
That’s been floating around my mind lately. I am in this strange place. At least it feels strange to me. I’m not angry, or hateful of my job. It’s actually quite the opposite. I am very grateful for it. But at the same time it leaves me feeling like there is a lot to be desired. That there is a lot more I could be doing to feel fulfilled. I don’t really know what that is. I have an idea. But I’ve never taken a leap. Because a leap requires a lot of faith. I feel like I am in a rock and a hard place. I don’t hate this thing I spent most of my time doing, and the thing I want to spend most of my time doing. I don’t know if it’ll work out. I know that’s incredibly vague. But writing it out seems like I am cementing something into the future. Something I’m not totally sure I am capable of. Maybe that is where it all stems from. I’m good at what I do for work. But what I want to do, I don’t think I’m very good at that. That’s the scary thing about change. You go from the top rung to the bottom in a moment, and you have to start climbing back up. Hoping every rung that your arms don’t give out on you now.