Liam Holyoak

This is where I write things.

Month: July 2016

Aging

I’ve been fascinated with aging. It used to really scare me. But lately I’ve been excited by it. The majority of the people I spend time with are 5-10 years older than me. Sometimes more. It’s not a topic that comes up a lot. But I notice a lot of differences in the older people I spend time with versus the younger people I spend time with. When I say older I don’t actually mean they are old, early thirties isn’t old at all. It seems people in that category seem to have some shit figured out that people my age don’t really have a handle on. Here’s a list of things I’ve learned.

  1. They realize that humans are crazy. Human beings are totally insane. Everyone has something. Some people are totally neurotic, others can’t talk about how they feel, some are even sociopaths. As long as you aren’t going out and harming others whatever brand of crazy you happen to be is totally okay.
  1. Life is beautiful. Sometimes we get hit with hard things. Days aren’t always great. But the fact that we are alive. That we have people who love us. That we get to wake up everyday. That is an amazing thing. Something that we need to constantly remind ourselves of, but something that is certainly worth being reminded of.
  2. Never stop learning. There is always room to learn more. To try out new activities. To develop new hobbies. You can always create space in your life to for growth, and learning. And still manage to get the house cleaned, maintain good relationships(figuring this out is especially exciting to me)

My pool of people is pretty small. Maybe these things aren’t true of everyone. Maybe they are only true for a few. But that’s what I’m going to aim for. I’ve got a quite a few years left. Hopefully I can figure these things out before then. By that time who knows what more I’ll learn.

Self Help

“And now that you don’t have to be perfect, you can be good.” -John Steinbeck

I’ve been obsessed with self-help type things. Personal development. Self-improvement. I’ve always loved that stuff. But after a recent break-up I’ve gone down the rabbit hole. I’ve read six self-help books in the last couple weeks and I’m on the hunt for more. I just can’t get enough. I’ve been trying to figure out what that means. All these books say the same things, but they each give me a boost. Can you be addicted to self-help? I’m so obsessed with becoming “better” that I sometimes forget to look around and see where I am.

I’ve been so committed to getting over my relationship, quickly and efficiently that I’ve been forgetting to live. They say time heals all wounds. For now I think I’m going to be patient. For now I’m going to try being good. And I’ll still keep reading self-help books, what can I say,  I love that stuff.

Awkward.

Have you heard of Kid President? He makes really great YouTube videos. His most recent video is a “How To” on making new friends.

As someone who needs some instruction when it comes to that kind of thing I watched it. Making friends is always really awkward for me, even though I love talking to people. I just get really weird. Anyway, he has a line in the video where he says: “Awkward is the new awesome”. I love that. We should embrace all our weird awkward parts and just let them shine. Then we can make new friends and be silly and awkward together. That sounds great to me.

In keeping with my self-love theme that I talk so much about. Love the awkward parts, and let them shine.

Oh and here’s the video: 

Love your Body

As women most of our lives we’re told that we should look a certain way, feel a certain way, dress a certain way. This leads to a lot of shame about our bodies. Shame about your own body leads to a whole slew of not so great things.

I have this revolutionary idea. Love is really important. I’ve talked about it a lot. Specifically self-love, which is the most important of all types of love. But what about a love of self that not only encompasses all the emotional, crazy, past/future parts of us. But also our bodies. Loving your physical body is not easy. Since you were a kid you’ve been bombarded with all the reasons why you shouldn’t love your body. And I’m sure you’ve tried every way under the sun to change it. How about you try loving it, accepting it for exactly what it is right now. That doesn’t mean you can’t work towards something, if that’s something YOU want.  I want you to try it.

If you love yourself for everything that is you, everything is better. I can’t describe it exactly, but I am speaking from experience. Look at yourself in the mirror, and say “I love you”. Look at your body and say, “I love you”. Pick out specifics. I love my legs, because they allow me to walk, and walking is an incredible thing that I love doing. I love my arms, because without arms and fingers I couldn’t write, and that would be so lame. I love my stomach because that connects all these parts and holds all my organs, which I don’t know about you, but organs are super vital to me being alive. I love all the pieces of me, exactly as they are right now. And I think you should love all the pieces of you too.

P.S. I know it’s been a while since I posted anything. I’ve had some personal events happen that have lead to me to do a lot of thinking. I’ve just been trying to figure out me again.

Procrastination

I follow this really incredible blog called Wait But Why. They published a post on why we procrastinate

Short version is that we the procrastinators of the world allow the rational thinking part of us to be taken over by the “instant gratification monkey.” Usually, we can only figure out how to get things done when there is a deadline to meet. Which is pretty unfortunate because life doesn’t always have deadlines. There is always something great around the corner that we want to achieve. Someday. Finding motivation to work towards someday is the hard part.

I do a pretty good job of avoiding the “instant gratification monkey.” As of late he’s taken control of the whole ship though, I am working on a few ways to get back to things. I’ll let you know what works.

How do you avoid procrastination?

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